You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
