so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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