this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
