I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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