When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
