You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
