Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
