Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Swine flu is the new snow day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
