Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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