when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
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he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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