piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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