she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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