I faked an abortion last night.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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