The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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