So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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