I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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