guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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