And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize