i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
