I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize