we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
