Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
