Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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