guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
