go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
