come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
