OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
