and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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