white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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