His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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