My room smells like vodka and shame
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As shirtless as possible
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
