I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She announced her abortion via fbk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
