I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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