Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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