Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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