she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
