if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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