Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
