your thong is hanging out like whoa
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
