i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
