I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
