You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
