is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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