Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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