I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
