STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
