EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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