I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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