never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
