check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
