My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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