I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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