And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there was a trapeze. enough said
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
