I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
