He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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