My first STD was from a foam party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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