Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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