Small penises have feelings too.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
