i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
