Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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