If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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