I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
